Hello there, my dearest snoopers. I'm Santana Lopez. I am from a place called Lima Heights Adjacent, heard of it? If you haven't, let me tell you, it's on the wrong side of the tracks. I'm attending McKinley High, I'm the hottest bitch in the entire joint. Stay out of my way and you will not be shown any Lima Heights hospitality.
Anyways, you better show me some respect since I've been so kind to grace you with my presence. If you don't, well, things just might get ugly. By that I mean, I'll kill you. Seriously like blood and cops and teddy bears and candles on the sidewalk kill you. Get on the wrong side of me and your life will be a nightmare, I promise you. Adios! It has been a pleasure threatening y'all on this fine day.